The other day, I was watching a YouTube video where a YouTuber was emphasizing how she used dating apps to try and find her person or what I like to denote soulmate or partner for life. Moreover, this YouTuber was essentially putting herself out there to find the one soulmate for herself on the format of online dating. While I know that this YouTuber used online dating apps for a while and I think eventually found success on it, I know that online dating is just not for me.
***Disclaimer: Before I get into the meat of this blog post, I do want to point out that I know many people who have used dating apps and had success. I have seen some of my best friends and family members find their significant others online and had success with it. In fact, one of my good friends recently got married to someone that she met online, and I couldn’t be happier for them both. Furthermore, just because I do not use online dating apps does not mean that it may be the right path for you to use when dating.***
Now, you may be wondering why I don’t use online dating apps. I will be the first to admit that I have used them in the past, but it only has been for under a week or 24 hours and for the sole purpose of seeing what is out there. One time, I actually had a chat with someone from a dating app, which is when I knew that I was not comfortable with the whole dating app experience. During that experience, I felt extremely uncomfortable with the idea of meeting someone that I had never seen before in real life and attempting to date them. In fact, I ended up frantically talking to my therapist about it afterwards, thus, realizing that dating apps were not for me. In more recent times, I have used apps such as Her and Bumble to meet friends and only friends within their friend sections of the site so that others who wanted friends would do the same and did not feel the ways that I was on a dating app. On the contrary to dating apps, I actually loved using both Her and Bumble’s friends sections on their apps and found it FUN! Because I am super busy with work, I ended up recently deleting my friend meeting accounts, since I solely didn’t have the time to commit. Though I have to say, I am personally glad that I ended up giving dating apps a try so that I could know what I liked and didn’t like when it comes to potential relationships and meeting others to potentially date.
A few weeks ago, my friend and I were talking about dating apps. While she uses them for fun, we both wholeheartedly agreed that we probably would not want to use dating apps for any sort of serious relationship. Rather, we saw dating apps as a method for none other than causal dating and hookups. While it is the case that many dating apps’s users are looking for something not very serious, it also has its benefits for those who do desire casual dating experiences at the time that they use the dating app. Personally, if I were to use a dating app at this stage in my life, it would solely be for fun and nothing more than that. However, I really value having a personal connection with those that I may date, rather than just one online. I like to know who I am dating and what I am getting into when dating this person beyond what you can see in a few perhaps photoshopped photos on an app.
Recently, I have watched “Love Hard” on Netflix – a movie about a woman who writes a column about her disaster dates via dating apps under an alias. She, then, proceeds to meet this guy she really liked and thought was the right guy for her and flies across the country to see him, only to discover that he had used photos of his old and who he perceived as better looking than him middle school friend. Even though “Love Hard” is extremely exaggerated, it does make the point that people can and will not tell the truth on dating apps. Hence, the millions of episodes on MTV’s “Catfish” that involve catfishing via meeting on a dating app.
Back in August, one of my friends suggested that I start dating and maybe even create a dating app profile. To that friend’s despair, I decided that I would not do that. Nor did I even want to try to date online. Personally, I am pretty content being single and do not want to try and date within an online format. Rather, I would prefer to be single and shine my own bright light that way. I truly believe that one day my person will come into my life at the right timing, whoever they may be. But, right now, I would rather enjoy my single years free of the stress of dating apps and simply shine!
XOXO – Katie <3