In the movie Legally Blonde, main character and my idol Elle Woods says “exercise gives you endorphins and endorphins make you happy.” When thinking about my journey to becoming content with being single, I think this iconic Legally Blonde quote says it all, as it’s not an overnight thing to fall in love with your relationship status (or lack thereof) but rather an exercise in becoming happy with where you are meant to be right now in your life.
Currently, I am single and fabulous! I have written a little bit about singleness in the past few years since starting my blog, but this past year or few months has been a whirlwind to say the least. While I do not see any romantic prospects or even a desire to have any for that matter in my foreseeable future, I don’t see it as a bad thing. Instead, I see it as a relief that I can solely focus on myself. And, it has taken me a while (four whole college years and a year post-college) to get to the point of where I can sit here and write to you at this very moment and say that I am single AND learning to love it!
In college, everyone seemed to be paired up from the start. For reference, I went to an all-women’s college in Raleigh, North Carolina. And, while I LOVED every minute of my college experience and wouldn’t trade it for the world, I also hated the pressure to pair up so soon and it wrecked my self esteem. I even dated someone during my college years that didn’t go too well for the both of us. That relationship led me to move up to the Washington, DC area and made me rethink what I wanted my future to look like. At the same time, a lot of my fellow Meredith College sisters are settling down, engaged, married, and/or having children with their partners. If you were to talk to me just six months ago, this would have bothered me to NO end. I used to feel really sad that I was single when a lot of those around me were in very different stages than me in life.
When I moved to the Washington, DC area, it seemed that EVERYONE my age was single. It was honestly very refreshing! Especially coming from the South where it seemed that everyone around me was pairing up and the pressure to do just that was extremely high, it was nice to be around people who dated just to date or chose to be single and enjoy it. People in the South tend to get married at earlier ages than other parts of the country such as the Washington, DC area, too. But, my first year out of college was a bit of a struggle for me in learning to love where I was relationship-wise and *even* had a few crushes that I had hoped would turn into something much more. Spoiler alert to anyone who needs to hear this: if someone does not share your same desires to date or whatever your desires are with them then, then chances are that they do not want to moving forward either. That word hope can only go so far when it comes to relationships. If change doesn’t happen initially in your favor, then it likely never will occur and it’s, therefore, best to move on to bigger and better things.
One thing that has helped me learn to love being single is the sole fact that a marriage or long-term relationship for any of us is never guaranteed, even *yes, even* if that’s what our heart desires. I once read an article that really stuck out to me in saying: if you knew you would never get married, how would you live your life? It made me think: how WOULD I live my life? And, well, I think that exact question helps me learn to love and live the life that I truly want to live. For myself, it makes me question where I want to go in my career, what steps I want to take to get there, and who can help me along the way to provide for myself and my dog (and future dogs!). Luckily career-wise, I have many great opportunities and pathways to pursue within my own company! I have a goal of wanting to travel to all 50 states in my lifetime (I’m hitting 2 new-to-me states in 2023!) and as many countries as possible; I’d love to go back to Paris and London and Tuscany. I also have become more and more conscious with whom I surround myself with on a day-to-day basis. Be around those who bring you positive energy and empower you!!! Needless to say, being single gives you the opportunity to BE SELFISH and find what brings YOU joy.
As someone who is single and fabulous, I want to live my life the fabulous Katie way! Personally, I think that when you’re happy and content with yourself, then you can open your life up to someone else who will be on the exact same wavelength as you when the timing is right. Although I don’t always feel 10000% content with being single right now, I am very proud of myself for how far I’ve come since my college years and can happily say that I don’t want to be sad about being single anymore and for that matter have no desire to whine about it either. Being happy with where YOU ARE right now will make you more attractive to others, too, without you even realizing it!
XOXO – Katie <3