Relationship Sunday’s – Being Single and OKAY With It

Well, it was New Year’s Eve 2021, and I saw a meme that said “if you’re sad about not having a New Year’s kiss, then wait until Valentine’s Day – you’ll probably be single then, too.” Although a bit funny, when did it become a sad thing to be single? I hear it all the time and I am going to say it here and now: it is better to be alone than with others who make you feel alone. At the same time, being single does not make you alone or a loner. Rather, being single can be a fun time to enjoy your independence, work on growing your own self love and self empowerment, and simply doing things for YOU and no one else.

When talking about being single and some of the many things that I seriously LOVE about it, it is also important to mention that relationships don’t have to be the end all be all to our own personal independence, self growth, and doing things for yourself. In fact, when you’re indeed with the right person, you WILL feel empowered to work on yourself and be an independent person while cheering on your person in their similar journey, too.

Our world feels like it’s meant for couples – I mean, we literally have a holiday aka Valentine’s Day that is simply for couples. BUT, Valentine’s Day simply does not have to be solely for couple’s – I LOVE using Valentine’s Day as a moment for self love and care, irregardless of one’s relationship status. Indeed, there is so much to be grateful for as a single person. I’m grateful for my independence, growing on my self love journey, and doing things for me and only me. At the same time, I have an amazingly supportive group of family and friends that I am oh so thankful for every day. I have two dogs that I love to death. I have a job that I am learning to love and grow passionate for every day I report to work. And, not to mention, y’all here within my community via The Pink Chickadee. Through it all, I am extremely grateful for all that I have. Being single is literally in the smallest of scopes when it comes to all that the world has blessed me with. In the scheme of things, being single is a small thing and it’s something I’m blessed with at this moment, too.

Being single used to feel like the end of the world to me. I thought I was miserable and that being single meant that I was alone and, therefore, miserable. However, I have since learned that that is FAR from the case. When I got into a relationship with the wrong person destined for me, I realized how much I missed my single days. I was dating someone who was wanting to marry me after 2 days of dating, which *surprise* meant that I was in a relationship that got too serious wayyyy too fast. As the short-lived relationship progressed, I realized that I did not want a forever with my ex, like they did. I wanted my freedom, the ability to live wherever I wanted to (they insisted I stay in North Carolina and move to their hometown with them) post graduation, and independence. When I *finally* decided to break it off with my ex, I felt nothing but empowered. As a newly single woman, I felt READY SO SO SO READY to take on the world by storm!

For me, my relationship with my ex made me feel nothing but content about being single. I was excited to be able to enjoy my single years for what they are. And, at the end of the day, I want to look back on my single years with glee and happiness and nothing but contentment. Don’t you?!

XOXO – Katie <3

Relationship Sunday’s – Being Single & Content

There comes a time when a person becomes content with being single. But, that time can take quite a while for many to find a point of contention with being single. Let alone, being single in a couple’s world is a tough pill to swallow for anybody. Trust me, it is HARD to be single in a couple’s world AND happy with your relationship status (or lack thereof). Though it may be tough, I find being happy while single as something that is essential for experiencing a happy relationship and eventually true love.

For myself, I wasn’t always happy while being single. Throughout my college years in North Carolina, I witnessed many of my classmates dating others and longed for that relationship of my own. There were many nights where I felt upset as a single woman and really wanted that commitment with another person. In December 2020 out of ALL of the times that one could enter a relationship, I entered a relationship. I wholeheartedly committed myself to that person and was content with the security that it brought me. On the contrary, while in this relationship, I found myself longing for my single days yet again. As someone who was looking for jobs as a soon to be postgraduate, I missed my days of being able to not worry about another person when searching for a job and where it could be located. My then-partner wanted me to stay in the state of North Carolina, despite my connections in all other states but North Carolina. My job application process during that time was miserable. During that same time, my partner did not commit to me in the way that I had hoped they would. I felt stressed trying to reach them, as they refused to reciprocate that attention to our relationship that I felt I gave. Needless to say, right after Valentine’s Day 2021, I broke off the relationship and had never felt happier to call myself a single woman. In fact, the days after my breakup were some of the most liberating days of my life.

I share this story of mine with y’all today to share how I became content with being a single woman – by being a woman in a relationship that wasn’t true to myself or my own desires. Indeed, this relationship wasn’t the right relationship for me. As a single woman, I have been able to make my own decision to move to the Washington, DC area which I have NO regrets doing. I don’t have to sit by the phone hoping that my partner calls back when they don’t feel like it: I can have my own nights to myself and myself ONLY. I can be myself and I can be happy with who I am. I can live my life in the way that I want to without any worry for anybody else, but ME.

While in college, although I was single for most of my years there, I am glad that I was. I was able to study abroad in Italy, England, and Belize. I travelled on weekend trips to Charleston, Washington, DC, Savannah, and Ocean Isle. I volunteered and served in several student leadership positions. Needless to say, I made the best of my college experience and took in every moment and enjoyed every experience. If I was in a relationship for most of my college years, then I don’t know if I would have been able to do all that I did and enjoy it all as much as I could have.

Above all else, remember to count your blessings – being single and all! One day, you will be glad you enjoyed your single years. In fact, would you want to be in a relationship and sad that you weren’t content before entering your relationship? I surely wouldn’t and I hope you wouldn’t either!

XOXO – Katie <3