Relationship’s come in all shapes and sizes. There are relationships that we hold with friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and our significant others. Through it all, the most important relationship that we have is the one with ourself. As cheesy as it sounds, I LOVE to talk about falling in love with yourself as the leaves are falling off the trees right before our eyes – see that pun HAHA! But, in all seriousness, falling in love with yourself creates a formative framework for anyone to fall in love with somebody else.
Surprisingly so, how we treat ourselves will rub off in our relationships with others whoever they may be with. We must be able to care for ourselves before we care for others. There are many ways that falling in love with ourselves can occur and one of those ways is by simply taking care of ourselves. Through it all, we NEED to be able to care for ourselves and prioritize our own needs amongst all that we’re going through day by day. Some of the ways that caring for ourselves can include:
- Reading a book and/or writing in a journal before bed
- Watching a movie or TV show, whether an old favorite or a new exciting film
- Drinking a cup of coffee or tea each morning before each day’s craze
- Practicing a favorite hobby of ours
- Taking breaks when NEEDED and when we CAN
- Treating ourselves (on occasion and budget-permitting)
- Enjoying a nap or bubble bath
- Getting in a good workout
Along with self care, we must also treat ourselves well. At the same time, falling in love with ourselves requires a good look into ourselves and how we perceive ourselves. Believe it or not, the widely-used quote “you are your biggest critic” is nothing but far from the truth. We indeed are our biggest critics. 9 times out of 10, we criticize ourselves much more than we criticize others, sometimes in ways that we do not even realize it too. One of the best ways to look into ourselves is to examine how we talk to ourselves – are you using positive or negative self talk or maybe a mixture of both? Are there some aspects of your life that you’re more kind to yourself about than others? Whatever the case may be, taking the time to think about these things when they appear is important and a great way to care for yourself. Most importantly, you’ll think yourself and love yourself for it, as well!
Thinking back throughout our lives, most of our impactful experiences that we remember happen as a result of someone’s actions towards us and/or how we reacted to them. Typically, how we felt about someone else’s actions is what we remember the most. The majority of the time, the experiences that we have shape us into how we are right now and who we are to become. Every single one of us has both happy experiences and not so happy experiences. Usually, the not so happy experiences in our lives – the ones that cause us potentially a lot of pain are what surprisingly hurt us the most. In the cases of these experiences, we must look back into the root of the pain of those experiences and simply feel that pain from time to time. Experiences such as being bullied by someone else, a not so positive friendship or relationship, or past trauma can be events that are holding us back from loving ourselves in the fullest way possible. As time goes on, the pain will lessen and we will be able to love ourselves, despite it all.
One of the most impactful ways that we hold ourselves back from falling in love with ourselves is through the simple action of caring about what others think of us. In this situation, I am not talking about our Bosses or Project Managers liking the work that we are doing and progressing within our careers. I am talking about how others in our lives – our friends, family, neighbors, classmates, etc. – think of us. While it is hard to fraternize over how others see us, it only hards us in the long run to think about it all. In the end, how we see ourselves is the most important thing. Indeed, we are the one’s living within our own bodies each and everyday and no one else is.
Falling in love with yourself is a process that is ongoing and much easier said than done. Throughout this entire post, I mention ways that we can care for ourselves and fall in love with ourself over and over again. Each of these ways is difficult to do overnight – they each take time and it’s vital to remember that. How we treat ourselves is what reflects in our day to day lives and will reflect onto your relationships of all kinds with others too. Don’t you want to have a loving relationship with yourself?
XOXO – Katie <3
