Relationship Sunday’s: How My Relationship Blossomed with Myself

With Spring officially in full bloom in my hometown of the Washington, DC area, I wanted to take the time to talk about how my relationship blossomed with myself *pun here anyone?! I think yes!!*. If you follow me on Instagram (follow me @_thepinkchickadee!), then you know that I have been adventuring ALL around the gorgeous cherry blossoms and blooming flowers around the Washington, DC area. As someone who has fully adjusted to post-college life (for the most part!), I can work on myself in ways like never before, thus, blooming my own relationship with myself into a gorgeous flower.

This past March, I took my first-ever solo road trip Charlottesville, Virginia for a work conference and saw my Aunt Lisa, Uncle John, and cousins Mary, Joey, and Matthew while there (read more about that here!). In this past March 2022, I also purchased my first-ever car – a white Volvo S60 T5 Momentum that I named Daisy, which I have spent several days since purchasing her driving her around and enjoying it. My adventures in my Volvo Daisy have been of both solo adventures and adventures with others, too. I visited the Smithsonian’s temporary #IfThenSheCan exhibit (read more about that here) not once but TWICE and learned to be proud of my career in STEM and being a #WomenInSTEM. At the same time, I have been working A LOT and really starting to enjoy my projects at work and find passions within my own career. Through each of these endeavors, I have really truly blossomed with myself within it all.

My solo trip to Charlottesville was one of the monumental experiences for my relationship with myself. Essentially, I just turned on the 80’s station on SiriusXM and jammed out the entire way. During this time, I learned a lot about myself and simply got comfortable with myself, even in a brand-new place. My first stop on the trip was to the University of Virginia, where I had about an hour to myself before my work conference. I managed to find and pay for parking on my own (the University of Virginia campus is definitely a ZOO it felt like going there for the first time when it comes to parking – HAHA!) and ask others for help navigating the HUGE (well, compared to my tiny campus at Meredith College – LOL!) campus, so that I could see the gorgeous, well-known Rotunda. I was able to successfully take care of myself, my car, and enjoy myself all along the way.

This April and May, I have quite a few *yes, quite a few* plans that are solo. After my solo road trip to Charlottesville, I am super excited to be able to feel comfortable enough with myself to do even more solo excursions on my own moving forward. Even just a few months ago, I felt like I “needed” to go do something as long as I had someone else to go with. However, that is completely the opposite. If you want to go do something, then just go yourself and have a good time. Going somewhere by yourself AND simply enjoying it is a skill that I believe everyone needs to learn as well. I also feel like if I can enjoy myself while doing something on my own, then why bother going with someone else all the time?! Through my solo adventures, I most definitely feel that I was able watch my relationship bloom with myself – a beautiful thing!

Overall, through feeling more comfortable with myself and how I am, I feel like my relationship bloomed with myself in ways like never before.

XOXO – Katie <3

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Relationship Sunday’s – Being Single & Content

There comes a time when a person becomes content with being single. But, that time can take quite a while for many to find a point of contention with being single. Let alone, being single in a couple’s world is a tough pill to swallow for anybody. Trust me, it is HARD to be single in a couple’s world AND happy with your relationship status (or lack thereof). Though it may be tough, I find being happy while single as something that is essential for experiencing a happy relationship and eventually true love.

For myself, I wasn’t always happy while being single. Throughout my college years in North Carolina, I witnessed many of my classmates dating others and longed for that relationship of my own. There were many nights where I felt upset as a single woman and really wanted that commitment with another person. In December 2020 out of ALL of the times that one could enter a relationship, I entered a relationship. I wholeheartedly committed myself to that person and was content with the security that it brought me. On the contrary, while in this relationship, I found myself longing for my single days yet again. As someone who was looking for jobs as a soon to be postgraduate, I missed my days of being able to not worry about another person when searching for a job and where it could be located. My then-partner wanted me to stay in the state of North Carolina, despite my connections in all other states but North Carolina. My job application process during that time was miserable. During that same time, my partner did not commit to me in the way that I had hoped they would. I felt stressed trying to reach them, as they refused to reciprocate that attention to our relationship that I felt I gave. Needless to say, right after Valentine’s Day 2021, I broke off the relationship and had never felt happier to call myself a single woman. In fact, the days after my breakup were some of the most liberating days of my life.

I share this story of mine with y’all today to share how I became content with being a single woman – by being a woman in a relationship that wasn’t true to myself or my own desires. Indeed, this relationship wasn’t the right relationship for me. As a single woman, I have been able to make my own decision to move to the Washington, DC area which I have NO regrets doing. I don’t have to sit by the phone hoping that my partner calls back when they don’t feel like it: I can have my own nights to myself and myself ONLY. I can be myself and I can be happy with who I am. I can live my life in the way that I want to without any worry for anybody else, but ME.

While in college, although I was single for most of my years there, I am glad that I was. I was able to study abroad in Italy, England, and Belize. I travelled on weekend trips to Charleston, Washington, DC, Savannah, and Ocean Isle. I volunteered and served in several student leadership positions. Needless to say, I made the best of my college experience and took in every moment and enjoyed every experience. If I was in a relationship for most of my college years, then I don’t know if I would have been able to do all that I did and enjoy it all as much as I could have.

Above all else, remember to count your blessings – being single and all! One day, you will be glad you enjoyed your single years. In fact, would you want to be in a relationship and sad that you weren’t content before entering your relationship? I surely wouldn’t and I hope you wouldn’t either!

XOXO – Katie <3

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Relationship Sunday’s – Why the Timeline Doesn’t Work

Back in my high school days, I used to picture myself meeting my true love in college and waltzing ourselves away into the postgraduate years married and living happily ever after. While my high school envisioning for myself is the reality for some, it is not the reality for myself and I am completely okay with it and happy that it isn’t. For us single folks, I know that having a timeline can sometimes provide satisfaction and a place of contentment to knowing when our perfect partner will come into our lives. BUT I am here to tell you today that NO timeline works when it comes to dating and potentially marriage. It just doesn’t.

When it comes to dating, it is easy to dream up what you want in a potential partner and strive to make it happen. On the flip side, dating is not something that I see as something that is one and done. It takes time to form a meaningful connection with someone else, whether it be a significant other, friend, coworker, or even a new pet. ALSO, I have noticed that when I spend time furiously searching for new connections in my life, whatever they may be, that they don’t seem to show up. In those moments on wayyyy too much searching for something I perceive as missing in my life, I will ALWAYS miss out on what’s in front of me in my life right then and there. What we are looking for, in fact, ends up coming into our lives when we stop searching for what we’re desiring and simply being content in the moment. This same concept goes for dating. It all happens when we least expect it.

Things happen when we least expect them to. It’s true. BUT it is SO hard to just sit back and relax and let it happen at times. AND that is OKAY! I have always been a worrier and tend to worry more than I should, especially about when I think and want things to happen. It’s HARD y’all and sitting back and letting things happen and enjoying where you are in life as much easier said than done. Indeed, it is something that I strive to work on everyday. I mean, my 10 year old self would LOVE to see where 22 year old Katie is now and I wish she could see it – she would be SOO excited!

Timelines are so not ideal when it comes to our lives. I know I love a good plan, but that’s not how life goes. Life takes its own twists and turns and it’s amazing in its own way. When we put timelines in our own lives especially when it comes to dating, we force things into our lives that aren’t right and ready for when they are meant to happen. With dating, I have always seen it to be a delicate thing that shouldn’t be rushed anyways. When we do try and rush dating and specifically dating into marriage, we miss out on the great moments along the way within our relationships and just life in general. You wouldn’t want to force yourself to finish reading a 300 page book in a day, so why would you with a relationship?!

Above all else, remember to focus on YOU and what YOU want in this life and not WHEN you want it in your life. If it is meant to be, it will all come into your life the way it is meant to. Life is so short anyways, so why spend it worrying and overthinking?! Things come the way that they are supposed to come into our lives and they will all be beautiful in the ways that they are meant to be. Personally, I love to travel and make memories together with my friends and family and dogs. Those are the memories that I want to focus on and NOT the time I spent worrying about what was next to come, as it will come when it does. It’s so hard to do and easier said than done, but it is also so rewarding, too.

The only timeline that matters in this world is our own. The timing in our lives is made in perfection for ourselves and only ourselves. Remember that.

XOXO – Katie <3

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Relationship Sunday’s – Why I Don’t Use Dating Apps

The other day, I was watching a YouTube video where a YouTuber was emphasizing how she used dating apps to try and find her person or what I like to denote soulmate or partner for life. Moreover, this YouTuber was essentially putting herself out there to find the one soulmate for herself on the format of online dating. While I know that this YouTuber used online dating apps for a while and I think eventually found success on it, I know that online dating is just not for me.

***Disclaimer: Before I get into the meat of this blog post, I do want to point out that I know many people who have used dating apps and had success. I have seen some of my best friends and family members find their significant others online and had success with it. In fact, one of my good friends recently got married to someone that she met online, and I couldn’t be happier for them both. Furthermore, just because I do not use online dating apps does not mean that it may be the right path for you to use when dating.***

Now, you may be wondering why I don’t use online dating apps. I will be the first to admit that I have used them in the past, but it only has been for under a week or 24 hours and for the sole purpose of seeing what is out there. One time, I actually had a chat with someone from a dating app, which is when I knew that I was not comfortable with the whole dating app experience. During that experience, I felt extremely uncomfortable with the idea of meeting someone that I had never seen before in real life and attempting to date them. In fact, I ended up frantically talking to my therapist about it afterwards, thus, realizing that dating apps were not for me. In more recent times, I have used apps such as Her and Bumble to meet friends and only friends within their friend sections of the site so that others who wanted friends would do the same and did not feel the ways that I was on a dating app. On the contrary to dating apps, I actually loved using both Her and Bumble’s friends sections on their apps and found it FUN! Because I am super busy with work, I ended up recently deleting my friend meeting accounts, since I solely didn’t have the time to commit. Though I have to say, I am personally glad that I ended up giving dating apps a try so that I could know what I liked and didn’t like when it comes to potential relationships and meeting others to potentially date.

A few weeks ago, my friend and I were talking about dating apps. While she uses them for fun, we both wholeheartedly agreed that we probably would not want to use dating apps for any sort of serious relationship. Rather, we saw dating apps as a method for none other than causal dating and hookups. While it is the case that many dating apps’s users are looking for something not very serious, it also has its benefits for those who do desire casual dating experiences at the time that they use the dating app. Personally, if I were to use a dating app at this stage in my life, it would solely be for fun and nothing more than that. However, I really value having a personal connection with those that I may date, rather than just one online. I like to know who I am dating and what I am getting into when dating this person beyond what you can see in a few perhaps photoshopped photos on an app.

Recently, I have watched “Love Hard” on Netflix – a movie about a woman who writes a column about her disaster dates via dating apps under an alias. She, then, proceeds to meet this guy she really liked and thought was the right guy for her and flies across the country to see him, only to discover that he had used photos of his old and who he perceived as better looking than him middle school friend. Even though “Love Hard” is extremely exaggerated, it does make the point that people can and will not tell the truth on dating apps. Hence, the millions of episodes on MTV’s “Catfish” that involve catfishing via meeting on a dating app.

Back in August, one of my friends suggested that I start dating and maybe even create a dating app profile. To that friend’s despair, I decided that I would not do that. Nor did I even want to try to date online. Personally, I am pretty content being single and do not want to try and date within an online format. Rather, I would prefer to be single and shine my own bright light that way. I truly believe that one day my person will come into my life at the right timing, whoever they may be. But, right now, I would rather enjoy my single years free of the stress of dating apps and simply shine!

XOXO – Katie <3

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Relationship Sunday’s – Falling in Love with Yourself

Relationship’s come in all shapes and sizes. There are relationships that we hold with friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and our significant others. Through it all, the most important relationship that we have is the one with ourself. As cheesy as it sounds, I LOVE to talk about falling in love with yourself as the leaves are falling off the trees right before our eyes – see that pun HAHA! But, in all seriousness, falling in love with yourself creates a formative framework for anyone to fall in love with somebody else.

Surprisingly so, how we treat ourselves will rub off in our relationships with others whoever they may be with. We must be able to care for ourselves before we care for others. There are many ways that falling in love with ourselves can occur and one of those ways is by simply taking care of ourselves. Through it all, we NEED to be able to care for ourselves and prioritize our own needs amongst all that we’re going through day by day. Some of the ways that caring for ourselves can include:

  • Reading a book and/or writing in a journal before bed
  • Watching a movie or TV show, whether an old favorite or a new exciting film
  • Drinking a cup of coffee or tea each morning before each day’s craze
  • Practicing a favorite hobby of ours
  • Taking breaks when NEEDED and when we CAN
  • Treating ourselves (on occasion and budget-permitting)
  • Enjoying a nap or bubble bath
  • Getting in a good workout

Along with self care, we must also treat ourselves well. At the same time, falling in love with ourselves requires a good look into ourselves and how we perceive ourselves. Believe it or not, the widely-used quote “you are your biggest critic” is nothing but far from the truth. We indeed are our biggest critics. 9 times out of 10, we criticize ourselves much more than we criticize others, sometimes in ways that we do not even realize it too. One of the best ways to look into ourselves is to examine how we talk to ourselves – are you using positive or negative self talk or maybe a mixture of both? Are there some aspects of your life that you’re more kind to yourself about than others? Whatever the case may be, taking the time to think about these things when they appear is important and a great way to care for yourself. Most importantly, you’ll think yourself and love yourself for it, as well!

Thinking back throughout our lives, most of our impactful experiences that we remember happen as a result of someone’s actions towards us and/or how we reacted to them. Typically, how we felt about someone else’s actions is what we remember the most. The majority of the time, the experiences that we have shape us into how we are right now and who we are to become. Every single one of us has both happy experiences and not so happy experiences. Usually, the not so happy experiences in our lives – the ones that cause us potentially a lot of pain are what surprisingly hurt us the most. In the cases of these experiences, we must look back into the root of the pain of those experiences and simply feel that pain from time to time. Experiences such as being bullied by someone else, a not so positive friendship or relationship, or past trauma can be events that are holding us back from loving ourselves in the fullest way possible. As time goes on, the pain will lessen and we will be able to love ourselves, despite it all.

One of the most impactful ways that we hold ourselves back from falling in love with ourselves is through the simple action of caring about what others think of us. In this situation, I am not talking about our Bosses or Project Managers liking the work that we are doing and progressing within our careers. I am talking about how others in our lives – our friends, family, neighbors, classmates, etc. – think of us. While it is hard to fraternize over how others see us, it only hards us in the long run to think about it all. In the end, how we see ourselves is the most important thing. Indeed, we are the one’s living within our own bodies each and everyday and no one else is.

Falling in love with yourself is a process that is ongoing and much easier said than done. Throughout this entire post, I mention ways that we can care for ourselves and fall in love with ourself over and over again. Each of these ways is difficult to do overnight – they each take time and it’s vital to remember that. How we treat ourselves is what reflects in our day to day lives and will reflect onto your relationships of all kinds with others too. Don’t you want to have a loving relationship with yourself?

XOXO – Katie <3

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Relationship Sunday’s – Starting Out & Moving While Single

When my Papa graduated from college, he got married and was whisked away into his married life for years to come. That was in the 1960’s. While the 1960’s days are far behind us, many still envision starting their lives out with a significant other by their side. I know of many couples who either get married or are committed upon graduating from college and choose to move in together upon graduating from college. Needless to say, it can be daunting to move and start out on your own as a single person, but it is also empowering.

Personally, I moved from North Carolina to Washington, DC upon graduating from college in the Southern state. I knew that I wanted something different after being in college and living in North Carolina for four years. Before even graduating from college like a few years beforehand, I knew that I wanted to live in Washington, DC and start out there. My mother started out in Washington, DC and tells me about all of her fond memories of her time in the nation’s capital. The same goes for my Dad. Once I found a job opportunity in the Washington, DC area, I knew I had what I needed to achieve my Washington, DC dreams!

When I was in the beginning of my college years, I had always envisioned moving in with a partner that I had met in college, whatever city it may had been. I probably was hoping that I had been able to move to a city beyond Raleigh, too, as I have an adventurous spirit. As time went on, I ended up dating somebody that I thought had the potential to be the one. It was my Senior year of college when I started dating them, and they lived in North Carolina in a different city than my college town and did not want to leave. Many of my connections for post-graduation jobs are in the Washington, DC area where I wanted to and now live. Needless to say, I became very stressed out looking for jobs in a place that I had not wanted to live in, but rather felt pressured to live for the life that I had hoped I would have. During those relationship days, I missed being single and having the freedom to move around without worrying about anyone else. We ended up breaking up after 2 months, and it was one of the best decisions that I had made, especially for my future.

Starting out single was not in my plan for my life. Yet, starting out single was what was best for me, despite me not anticipating it. It can be hard and is hard moving to a brand-new city without a significant other in sight. Some of the challenges with starting out as single and making a move include:

  • The Moving Process – Let’s get this straight: moving can be a challenge. Most specifically, when you’re on your own, it can be difficult to move and move on your own, too. I was fortunate enough to be able to move close to family and have family help with both moving out and moving into my new city. The moving process is daunting – the moving trucks, the moving fees, the heavy lifting, and the packing/unpacking. Even with family help, it took me almost 2 weeks to unpack all of my belongings and fully set everything up in my new place. However, if you are doing it all alone, there is no reason to not utilize help from others. If you’re moving to the Las Vegas area, then Muscle Movers LLC Las Vegas can do all the heavy lifting for you! Not only can they help you move your belongings on move-in day only, they can also help you with packing and unpacking into any type of place, whether it be residential or commercial. At the same time, if you’re living in Las Vegas and moving across the state, to another state, or even overseas, these long-distance movers in Las Vegas can provide ALL of the facilitation regarding your move – find details here.. All in all, Muscle Movers LLC Las Vegas is a great way to allow others to help you with your move, especially if you’re moving on your own as a single lady (or gent!).
  • Lack of Connections – Moving can be a struggle, especially when you do not know a soul in your new town. It can be tough when you do not know anyone beyond your coworkers, apartment mates, or even the mail man. It essentially feels like as if you are a new kid in high school in a new city. But this time, it may be without family and friends. Case in point: if you went to college and lived in a dorm in a place different than your hometown, then you probably didn’t have an established social network when you left. However, for most of us, you developed that social network, academic network, and professional network while in college. You did it during those university days, and you will do it again, but this time, within your brand-new city. You WILL establish a vast social network, grow professionally, and grow personally, too – right in your own new city!
  • Not Having a Go-To Person Nearby – When single, it can be quite difficult to move when you do not have a go-to person right then and there, such as a significant other. There’s a lot of emotions that pop up when moving – stress, excitement, sadness, happiness, etc. It can be nice to be able to go through all those emotions with someone else. At the same time, it’s also nice to be able to have someone right by your side who can go explore and get to know your new town with, too. When single, not having someone who is right then and there to do things with can be difficult. But, on the flip side, when doing things on your own and independently creates confidence and allows you to grow and expand your network in a whole new light than if you were in a relationship. In fact, you may even meet your person while expanding your network while single!

Overall, moving while single can be remarkably challenging, but it has its perks, too. You can meet a bunch of people on your own timeline and have the flexibility to move on your own without worry about anyone else. Nevertheless, you get to expand your network on your own terms and only yours.

XOXO – Katie <3

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Relationship Sunday’s – Traits I Look for in my Future Spouse

Hey y’all! Welcome back to another one of my Relationship Sunday’s series. Personally, I have always been an utterly curious person. In fact, I like to joke that I have the mind and energy of a toddler, which I think my friends who know me in real life can probably attest to – LOL! Many times, my mind of a five year old wonders about who my future spouse will be, and my Mom has too: it’s so sweet that she does! Although I try not to place too much emphasis on that person in terms of certain features, I strive to place my focus on who they will be and the traits that I desire them to have. That being said, I am going to share some of those traits.

Traits that I Look for in my Future Spouse

  1. Compassion – One of the biggest things that my family told me is to watch how the person that you’re dating and could eventually marry treats those working in customer service. If they treat them with kindness and compassion, then they will with no doubt be the same way with you too. I want to find somebody who has compassion not only for themselves, but for others too. I have always seen how somebody treats others as an indicator of how they will eventually treat me.
  2. Adventure – Ever since I was little, I have always been a go-getter and somebody who was ALWAYS down for a good time, whatever it may be. My future spouse should have that same energy in them, too, and want to join me on my adventures as well. I want to share a life with somebody who desires adventure and is willing to put on their hiking boots to go for a hike, flip flops to go to the beach, and get out their camera for many pictures along the way! Whether near or far, I am all about bringing together some great experiences and even greater memories from those experiences.
  3. A desire to travel – This one goes off of the last one a bit but is more specific. If you know me, then you know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE to travel! I, indeed, have my own hashtag – #KatiesConfettiAdventures – just dedicated to my travels. I have been fortunate enough to travel to 13 different countries and 25 different states in my lifetime, and crazy enough, I want to continue to add to my running list of places visited with my future spouse. I’m SUCH A PLANNER, and I have dreamed of taking super fun couple’s trips with my future spouse, especially when we need time to get away from our potential future children. Some of the places that pop up in my head at the top of the list include – Paris, France; New York, New York; Venice, Italy; the Greek Islands; and Hawaii. Wherever we go, I want to make memories with my future spouse and look back many decades later at all the memories we made both near and far and will continue to for the decades to come that we have together.
  4. A willingness to serve – Going off of being a compassionate person, I desire for my future spouse to have a willingness to serve others. Whether it be through involvement in a club/organization, sports team, charity, work, or all of the above, taking the time to leave a lasting impact on others is an admirable trait. I have always served others, especially at my college as a student leader and I desire for my future spouse to have that same wavelength going for them too.
  5. Christian faith – Although I am accepting of other religions and LOVE learning about them and those who practice them, I ideally would like to marry somebody who is also a Christian. My Christian faith has always been an impactful part of my life. In fact, I went on 3 mission trips in high school with my local church and did some service on other capacities with my church, too. My faith in God has shaped me into the woman that I am today, and I pray that my future spouse’s faith in God has shaped them into the person that they are today and will become.
  6. Acceptance – This is a HUGE one! Simply being accepting of other people, regardless of who they are is something that I have always strived to do. Regardless of somebody’s race, gender, sexuality, gender identification, political views, religion, ethnicity, abilities, and more, I have always viewed acceptance of others as one of my core values. For me, having a future spouse who shares those similar views of acceptance and striving to understand others’ perspectives will only strengthen our bond.
  7. Driven – Whatever my future spouse may be passionate about, I surely am excited to see their drive for it and watch them excel in it. I have always found it so admiring to watch someone’s passions be ignited. It is a beautiful thing! Having a future spouse who has a similar drive to me, but most likely in different areas of focus (aka not Data Analytics) will allow me to not only broaden my horizons, but watch them excel in the best way possible.
  8. Humor – Personally, I like to think of myself as a funny person – HAHA! But, I also hope that my future spouse is someone that I find to be a funny person and vice versa. My Aunt Sherri always finds a way to bring some laughs into our lives, whether we’re in a situation where we’re all thriving or a situation where it is a bit trying. Aunt Sherri ALWAYS knows how to make us all laugh, and I want to channel my inner Aunt Sherri with my future spouse as well.
  9. More laid back than me – For those who know me in real life, you will know that I am an Enneagram Type 3 who is a non-stop working person and a major major major planner. I am always productive and I am always probably stressing about something – yes, I will be the first to admit it. Though I have worked on taking a step back from being productive 24/7, I do know that I hope my future spouse is a bit more laid back and less of a planner than I am. I hope that they can add a bit of spontaneously fun times into the mix!
  10. Physical attraction – This is most definitely the least important item on this list for me. Inner character is always much more beautiful than however someone appears to look on the outside. However, this is still something that I need to mention. While we like to say that we will fall for someone based off of their personality only, there still needs to be some physical attraction of sorts added into it all – the sparks seem to really fly with it added into the mix. Physical looks may fade away as the years progress, but the sparks will still fly! At the same time, I have found that someone who has a strong moral character – including compassion, adventure, a desire to travel, a willingness to serve, Christian faith, acceptance, a drive, humor, and a more laid back nature than my own – makes someone ALL that more attractive!

Everyone’s personal desires for their future spouse are different. Above all else, it is important to remember that NOBODY is perfect, and neither will your future spouse be. But, we should look to admire others’ imperfections as they can do the same for us too. If you so desire, comment below what trait or traits that you look for in your future spouse!

XOXO – Katie <3

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Relationship Sunday’s: Why I LOVE Being Single!

Calling ALLL my single ladies and gents and peeps, now, put your hands up! *Cues Beyonce* It can be a struggle to be single at times, but there are so many benefits to it that can sometimes overlook the cons. Since COVID-19 began back in March 2020, I truly started to embrace the benefits and enjoy being single. There are MANY reasons to love being single. Here, I am going to list some of the many many many reasons that I have loved being single and why you should, too!

Reasons Why I LOVE Being Single

  1. Freedom – guess what?! You have the freedom to do what YOU want to do with your life at this special time of being single. Whether it be spending a night on your couch watching Netflix with a bowl of popcorn and not worrying about having to share or online shopping til you drop with your own money and treating yourself, your freedom to do what your heart desires is yours, especially before settling down. You are able to plan your personal schedule around whatever you choose and your finances, too. When dating, your personal schedule drastically changes to include your partner and their needs and wants as well. The same idea goes for your finances, especially when it comes to dates for the two of you and gifts for anniversaries and holidays along with some surprises here and there. Want to plan that trip of your dreams to Peru?! Then GO! Want to save up for that handbag you’ve been eyeing for a while?! Then DO IT! Want to watch that show on Hulu all night long that no one else wants to do?! Then WATCH IT and enjoy your favorite snack as you do! Want to join that team?! Then JOIN! Whatever your heart desires, you have the freedom to do it and without worry of what someone else may think or how they will be impacted by it.
  2. A chance to save up – when you’re single, your financial demands are solely on yourself and only you. Although marriage does have its benefits when it comes to taxes and insurance amongst many others financially, it is nice to be able to use your money for your own personal benefit. Before dating anyone, you can have the chance to save up for what YOU want to save up for in your life. Whether that be travel, a house, a luxury handbag, a pet, an emergency fund, or something else. You don’t have to save it for a wedding, kids, or even a house if you do not want to, either. You get to choose what your money goes towards and that is an amazing thing. Moreover, your financial future will thank you when you have some extra cash saved for a rainy day.
  3. Travel – when you’re single, then it’s the time to travel and see the world! I studied abroad in three different countries while in college – something that I do not know if I would be able to do if I had been in a relationship throughout my college years. For the most part, once you choose to settle down, the opportunity to travel tends to get slimmer than it used to be. Now when you’re single is the time to travel, whether it be domestic or international. You also get to use all of your PTO anyway you want to and that can include your own personal travel, rather than travel demands as per your significant other like seeing their family and friends. You get to determine where YOU go on vacation – it can be independent, with friends, or family. Whatever and wherever you choose to travel to, then GO!
  4. Time to focus on personal goals and hobbies – when single, your time is 10000% YOURS! That being said, you can use your own time to focus on your own personal goals or hobbies. If I had been in a relationship in college, I probably would not have started my platform here and be the blogger that I am today. I never would have started getting into cooking and cooking for others if I were in a relationship and had been for many years before. At the same time, I was super involved throughout my college years and am starting to get involved in my recent post-grad years. My involvement has allowed me to meet many others and grow as a person. If it were not for being single, then I would not have been able to get involved to the capacity that I have been able to. My time is mine and it is all for me to use to explore my own interests and get involved in whatever I so choose.
  5. Career first – my time as a single lady can truly be used to get established and advance within my career without demands of a significant other. I can put my work first and truly grow within my career. At the same time, do not strive to be a workaholic, but have a strong work life balance. When not dating, you can focus on your career and allow it to take you wherever it lands you. Have a job offer in a different city?! Then take it – no one is slowing you down! Want to switch careers?! Then make that switch! Want to invest your time and finances in getting a degree or certification?! Then GO for it! As a single person, you have the time to invest in whatever you want to invest in for your own career advancement. Establishing your own career path is something that is important and when you’re single it’s a great thing to be able to do before settling down.
  6. No significant other commitments – let’s be honest here: it can be oh so stressful when it comes to commitments that come with having a significant other. Whether it be financial, time, emotional, or familial, relationships can take a toll on us all in a variety of different ways. When you’re single, it is great that you do not have ANY of these extra commitments to worry about! Your commitments revolve around YOU and your life and not someone else’s.
  7. Prioritize yourself – NOW is the time to prioritize you and only YOU! Career-wise, friendship-wise, family-wise, financially, or personally, you are able to make your own personal priorities without much worry of anyone else or theirs. Your personal demands are yours and only yours. No one else is involved. It is just you and your own priorities. Moreover, this is an important time to focus on your own self love and growth. Work on being the best YOU that YOU can be, especially for when your special someone does come along. Trust me, you’ll be thankful that you did.
  8. No additional commitments at the holidays – I love love love knowing as a single lady that the holidays are mine and mine to choose what I do. Let’s be real here, relationships with the in-law’s can be awkward and sometimes not the best. However, relationships with the in-law’s can be pretty great too. Whatever the case may be for you when the time comes along, it is pretty great not to have the worry about seeing the in-law’s at the holidays! It can also get complicated when you have to factor in seeing you family and your significant other’s at the holidays, too. It’s nice to know that you get to choose where you are at the holidays and who you are with for the time being.
  9. Truly evaluate what you want in a partner – when you’re single, you can know what you truly want in a partner. Personally, I have learned a lot of traits that I like and do not like in my future significant other from hearing my friends’ own experiences both good and bad from their own relationships. I can witness what has worked for them and what doesn’t and learn about what my work for me, based on their relationship experiences. Similarly, I have learned to pick up red flags even faster than before – surprisingly enough. Through it all, when you’re single, you get to learn more and more about yourself and take that time to fall head over heels in love with yourself. When you do just that, coincidentally, you also evaluate what you want in a partner, too. That way, you’ll be ready for the right person when they come along!
  10. Prioritize your friendships and familial relationships – through it all, your friendships and family are important and an integral part of our mental wellbeing. You can truly establish those friendships and familial relationships while single. Whether single or not, it is important to keep them close. However, when you’re single, you’re especially able to prioritize your friends and family. Knowing how to prioritize your friends and family is a skill that can be hard to come by, but an important one. At the same time, you always have your friends and family through the good times and the bad times – single or not. The experiences that you have made through friendships and family are ones that have shaped you. When you are single, you can truly focus on those relationships and maintain them pretty well once you do start dating.

Fellow single folks, there are several things to be grateful for about your single life. It can be tough at times to be single, but there are many extraordinary things about it. Remember to care for yourself and love yourself through thick and thin and one day someone will love you for who you are too. But, in the meantime, enjoy your single life for what it is and make the best of it.

Above all else, remember that you are single and FABULOUS!!!

XOXO – Katie <3

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Relationship Sunday’s – Why Now is the Time to be Single!

The other day, I read an article by The Knot who reports on the annual average age of marriage in the United States. Typically, the average age of marriage is in someone’s twenties for both men and women. However, to everyone’s surprise, including my own, the average age of marriage in the United States is 32. Since the average age of marriage has increased, so has the number of years that people have taken to enjoy being single and independent before settling down. That being said, when it comes to relationships, now and in one’s twenties is the time to be single!

Explanation speaking, people are choosing to get married in their 30’s nowadays due to a variety of different reasons. First, people are using their twenties as a time to get financially established and develop in their careers. They are also using this time to potentially pay off student loans and develop their own independence and sense of self. Moreover, people are using their twenties to be selfish and do what they want before being tied down to someone else or someone’s else. People are striving to also find a sense of self and strive to continue to develop who they are as a person and truly decide what they want in life before settling down. At the same time, life is getting more expensive. College costs are rising which means that student loan debts are rising. The housing market is in an extreme boom which comes with the high costs of rent, down payments, and mortgages. When it comes to marriage, the costs of weddings are also in a major boom. Most parents of the partners getting married either do not contribute at all to the cost of the wedding or contribute to part of the costs for it. Millennials and Gen-Zer’s are extremely into creating a wedding that is Instagrammable and perfect for the feed while fostering a down-to-earth experiences for their guests, all at a hefty price tag.

Personally, I was relieved at the increase of the average age of marriage in the United States. Coming from a college where it felt like everyone within the student body was getting married upon graduation, it’s refreshing to hear that most of the world is not that way. I know that my peers within the Washington, DC area are on a similar standpoint when it comes to getting married later on in their twenties and thirties. It’s nice to see that several people are taking their twenties to be single and simply enjoy it.

All throughout my college years, my Mom and other family members would tell me the significance of getting married once you have uncovered a sense of self first. According to my Mom’s research, you do not truly have a fully developed brain until you are 25 years of age. That being said, using ones twenties and more specifically their early twenties for solely being single is the way to go. Not only are you able to get to learn more about yourself, but you are able to do what YOU want to do without asking others. That being said, now is surely the time to be single and do things for YOU and no one else.

Dating can be TOUGH, but there is something to be said about being single and taking the time to do so. I feel that I am happily able to do what I want to do in life with no stress or worry about anyone else significant in my life. I am also able to work on discovering and loving myself and only me. That way, when I do get in a relationship, I am ready to be my best self for my soulmate wherever they may be!

XOXO – Katie <3

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