One of THE things that was most challenging for me in my first few years after college was meeting new friends in a brand-new city. For context, I moved back to the Washington, DC/Northern Virginia area after 4 years of college in Raleigh, North Carolina with *very few* Summers home in between (read my moving announcement here!). That all being said, it was quite a challenge to meet friends after 4 years away from my city. I pretty much had to start all over again. Nevertheless, 3 years (and counting!) since my relocation back to the nation’s capital, I feel SO fortunate to say that I have an incredible network of friends (and family too!) in my city. But, there was a time where I wondered where to meet friends in a new city.
I remember relocating back to the Washington, DC area thinking it would be like moving into my North Carolina college dorm – social events at every turn and sooooo many opportunities to meet and mingle with peers. HOWEVER, moving into my apartment post-graduation was VERYYYY different. College is the last stepping stone for some and high school for others where we don’t have to put much effort into making meaningful connections and friends. However, once we leave the academic world, it becomes much trickier to meet friends and even future partners to date. Facing this new and rather dreadful reality, I recall laying in bed some nights so upset that I hadn’t found a community in my new city. It was tough as others in my network, whether coworkers or former high school classmates, had lots of college friends relocate to the Washington, DC area which made things a bit easier (however, new city or not, early post-graduation years are TOUGH for all and many want to make new connections). I remember feeling SO sad and down and discouraged that I would NEVER find a community. Hence, I asked myself: where to meet friends in a new city?! And, hence, you may also be asking that same question.
Now, for some of my personal key takeaways that I’ve found to be impactful during my post-graduation years in making new friends and where to meet friends in a new city:
Key Takeaways:
Takeaway 1 – The biggest step to meeting new friends is … to put yourself out there and admit it. YES – that daunting first step is to admit that you want to make new friends and put yourself in those *maybe* out of the comfort zone experiences to reap those benefits. Unlike high school and college, we HAVE to put in the effort to meet others and make new friends. Go to events alone and don’t be afraid to. The best part?!?! Getting out of your comfort zone helps you GROW! And, if an event isn’t a success in meeting others, then, that is OKAY. The more you put yourself out there, the more likely you will be to find your community in your new city.
Takeaway 2 – Find a community or network of interest. The best place to meet others that are likeminded?! Join a special interest group! Note that this one will look different for everybody, based on our own special interests. For example, many major cities have their own sports leagues or exercise groups. My best friend Shivani has met friends through tennis and pure barre. There are also book clubs at several local libraries and bookstores in ALL genres and can also be found websites such as Goodreads (I think?! I know a basic Google search knows this one!), which my friend Ashley has joined. In Washington, DC, I have joined the City Girls Who Walk DC community on Discord and while I am not an active member yet, I do adore their content and have been inspired by my friends Stephanie and Brittany to join, as they have actually attended their events! The best way to start is to do basic Google searches, follow local influencers who focus on things to do in your city (and see what communities interact with their content/who they follow), and check out sites like Facebook, Meetup, and Eventbrite. As for myself, I will be taking a class and meetup soon with DC Mahj, am in the process of applying to a local Daughters of the American Revolution Chapter, and skimming on occasion the City Girls Who Walk DC Discord channel (hopefully I attend an event soon and can change this!) alongside the DC Influence social media channels (which I have attended some events through!). There is definitely something going on and there will likely be something of interest to you, too!
Takeaway 3 – Google where to meet friends in a new city and the first result says …. online. However, online meetings may or may not be the best fit. Indeed, some online platforms may work better for you than others. I’ll be honest: I tried Bumble BFF and didn’t find any friends that I still have today. While I am grateful for the connections made (some of which I still have!), I am also grateful that I gave it a whirl. Bumble BFF was my first channel to get out of my comfort zone and meet others. Instagram can work, too, if you’re in communities such as blogging or join a local influencer of interest’s community/events. I have definitely seen more results through Instagram, as I met one of my BEST friends (while not in Washington, DC) Lindsay of @sunshineandstairclimbs through our blogs alongside several other incredible bloggers, influencers, and small business owners.
Takeaway 4 – Oddly enough, I have found networking to be a GREAT way to make friends and connections. Whether in my 9-5 or beyond, networking is a GREAT way to establish friendships and meaningful connections. Funny enough, I met two of my best friends Brittany and Briana in an .. elevator. We were at a holiday networking event leaving and just really hit it off! I was fortunate enough to be apart of a Northern Virginia-based young professional leadership program during the 2023-2024 year and met several young professionals in my city – some of which are now friends! Networking can be daunting (this is something I want to share more insights on soon, too!), but can seriously be sooooo rewarding in the end. Networking can ALSO be used beyond the professional world too and in our personal lives and communities of special interest, too, especially when meeting new friends.
Takeaway 5 – Be patient. Just like in college and high school years, finding a community takes time and is an ever-evolving process. Even after feeling like I have established a great network and community of people in my own city, I still am always looking to expand and evolve within my community, too. It took time for my community to come together, but the universe (or any higher power if you believe in one!) is truly working in mysterious ways ALL THE TIME. Just know, it’s coming. Don’t worry!
Takeaway 6 – Always do YOU. Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken. Yes, I know that this can be sort of a cliche quote that is ALWAYS shared, but this quote has a lot of truth to it. There is only one you. Don’t try to conform to others’ expectations or strive to change parts of yourself to make yourself more likable to others. Simply, just be YOU. The right people will come to you over time and they’re so worth the wait.
Takeaway 7 – Keep in touch with your friends that you’ve moved away from. Through it all though, I think it is SO important to make time for your friends who you may no longer live close to anymore. It WILL be worth it. I find it SO nice to be able to have a free place to stay in my former city (and/or my friend’s new city) when I want a weekend away alongside *of course* time with my friend and vice versa when they come to visit you! At the same time, sadly, not all friends from your previous city will be meant for the long haul and sustain your move. And, guess what?! That is OKAY. I remember feeling SO SAD that not all of my friendships from college and in Raleigh stuck in my post-graduation years in the nation’s capital. But, those friendships that did stick are the ones that I cherish and am SOOOO grateful for. Trust me, that phrase “friends come and go” reigns true especially when moves are involved.
Wrap-Up:
While moving to a new city is SO exciting and a great way to gain independence and experience new things as well as for our own personal development, it can also be daunting having to start all over in a brand-new place. Where to meet friends is not a one-size fits all answer either. In fact, meeting friends can be difficult and take time, but we have to give ourselves grace and space to find our own communities. It won’t happen overnight, but when it does, cherish it and the community you will establish and have.
XOXO – Katie <3