Life is a rollercoaster of up’s and down’s. However, through it all, life is a big adventure and ever-evolving experience where we get to learn and grow and continue to do so every single day. HOW great is that?! In April of this year, I got a bit deep via sharing 10 hard truths that I wished I knew sooner (here). Surprisingly enough, that blog post was a favorite of mine to write! SO, as I continue to learn and grow over these past 7 months via the change of the seasons, I am bringing some MORE hard truths (6 to be exact!) that I have learned since.
Remember that the lessons that we learn only help to serve us moving forward. There are SO many blessings to what we learn in life, *even* those lessons that may be harder truths to swallow. YOU have the power to live your best life on a daily basis. And, for me, swallowing those painful harder truths have helped me to grow AND live it up!
6 Hard Truths that I Have Learned this Fall:
1 – It doesn’t have to make sense to others. Things I do may look strange to others and things others do may look strange to me. HOWEVER, how someone chooses to live their life is up to them and only them. The same concept goes for us, too. Looking at my own life, there are times where I may be thinking I am rather behind or not in line with others’ lives or timelines, however, I am completely content and enjoying my life. SO, why does it matter?! It surely doesn’t matter that I have chosen to focus on different things (whether it be prioritizing travel over buying a home soon, etc.) than the next person as long as it brings me joy, then I am good. So should YOU be good, too, with HOWEVER you choose to live your life.
2 – Re-align your thoughts is so important to seeing the bigger picture. People will do/say things that may make us upset, when they really didn’t intend to or were focusing on something else altogether such as the bigger picture or were even trying to help us but just missed the mark. Sometimes, I have found it tough when I say something in hopes of getting advice and someone responds in a way that doesn’t resonate. Whether or not someone else’s advice resonates with me, if they are trying to help me in the moment, then it is key to see the bigger picture than simply their non-resonating response. Many times, people want to help us and make an effort to do so, yet it doesn’t quite hit the mark that we’d hoped it would. In this scenario, it is key to see the bigger picture and re-align our thoughts. For example, this person was trying to help us given their own life experiences and perspectives, but it didn’t quite resonate as I’d hoped it would. The same concept goes for someone picking somebody else over you for a promotion at work, for example, as the other person may have had more work experience and skills aligned with the qualifications for a specific promotion to help them get there than ourselves. While it may be painful in the moment, knowing that there is a bigger picture and outlook on things via re-aligning my thoughts has helped me in ALL aspects of life.
3 – Identify your own personal triggers. Yes, you heard me right! And yes, we ALL have our own personal triggers, whether it be something as simple as a wasp flying near you as you sit on a bench or something a little bit deeper. Being transparent over here, growing up, I feared rejection and it is one of my biggest triggers. Rejection is something that I have identified as a personal trigger of mine. I also struggle with imposter syndrome *confessions* and feel great being in like-company to many that I know around me with this one. BUT, knowing that rejection is one of my own personal triggers, I have been able to quickly re-align my nervous thoughts when I do fear rejection via identifying that it is a personal trigger and fear of mine. I ALSO have a fear of wasps when near me, too, so in lighter news, I can know this when they do get around me when I am in the great outdoors (or simply my backyard!). Through it all, knowing my personal triggers has even helped me to re-align my thoughts (via Hard Truth Number 2 up above!) and better serve myself and my own mental health overall.
4 – It’s OKAY to cut back. Whether it be in your personal life, professional life, or everything in between, sometimes, what is best for ourselves is to cut back on things. It is HARD to simply give and give and give and if we don’t take a break, then it will be HARD to keep going. Our mental health is extremely tied to our physical health, whether or not we realize it. Burnout is a real thing and, personally, burnout can make me literally feel sick. Recently, I have been cutting back on things that I have either been involved in in the past or future commitments in hopes of reducing burnout and keeping my mental health in a good place. I have also been setting boundaries when it comes to days I have “off” of activities, whether professional or personal, and travel (including resting in between the time I get home and go back to work). I always hated the phrase, growing up, that you cannot do it all. However, as I have gotten older and cut back more on commitments, I have LOVED and rather EMBRACE this phrase. Our mental health IS our health, so we may as well cut back to keep ourselves afloat and in good health overall.
5 – Don’t settle. The right person is worth waiting for. In recent times, I have seen SOOO many Instagram Reels and TikToks and YouTube compilations along the lines of dating. One of the BIGGEST themes that I have noticed, from ALL kinds of dating content, is that we are better off dating people who treat us the way WE want to be treated and focusing on ourselves and our own goals in the meantime. We want to choose ourselves first before someone else chooses us and willingly pursues us. From watching content on the cheater (cringe!) to the aftermath of ghosting (another cringe!) to ignoring red flags in our partners (yet another cringe!), I have found that so many people settle for less than what they deserve. I have definitely been guilty of settling for others in the past, too, or feeling like being single versus in a relationship is life or death (spoiler: it’s NOT; always do you and put you first). Yet, the experiences I have had and seen others go through have shaped me into someone who doesn’t want to waste time settling for less than what I deserve. I also want to note that there is benefit to dating multiple people over different timespans and learning and growing from it to serve us in the long run. The older I get, the less I want to settle for less than what I deserve. I think you deserve the same, too.
6 – People will judge you, always be you. Whether or not we like it, people WILL judge us. And, we will judge others, too (I find myself guilty of this at times, but am grateful to be aware of this). All of us are human, which means that we will judge others, including ourselves. At the end of the day, the only person’s opinion who matters is YOURS. Remember to try not to make a decision based on what others think, but rather who YOU think. If something brings you joy, then DO IT. On the same token, things may make NO sense to someone else, but if it does to you, then that’s all that counts. Not everything has to make sense to us OR to others (going back to Hard Truth Number 1). ALL that matters at the end of the day is what YOU think.
Remember to continue learning, growing, and being YOU!
XOXO – Katie <3
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